How to Stop Seeking Male Validation in 3 Powerful Ways

This post provides 3 powerful ways you can stop seeking male validation.

I’ll be honest; this was a tough one to write because I’ve been up and down.

Nonetheless, at 1 am in the morning, I’m at it, and I got you. 

But first, let’s get into the signs of seeking male validation.

Signs you seek male validation

First things first.

If you are reading this, you probably noticed signs that you seek male validation.

Or maybe you just want to help a friend out.

Honestly, it sometimes feels great to get approval from men because it boosts your ego.

But you don’t truly get fulfilled.

You’ll keep needing more of that to keep your energy high.

Either way, there are tell-tale signs that you can’t just ignore.

They scream male validation, and when you become conscious of that, then YAY!!

You are on the right path to progress and becoming better.

Here are the signs –

1. The constant need to let everyone know you have done something good, like volunteering, especially targeting men as an audience.
2. Craving praise and being desired by the opposite gender.
3. Needing reassurance from men (constantly).
4. Social media addiction is a fast way to gain male validation. This also includes reposting one’s own posts until they get likes or wow comments.
5. Insecurities – read more on how to become more secure about yourself here
6. Inability to regulate your feelings outside of getting validated by men. This can be feeling down or anxious when you don’t get the attention you hoped for in person or on social media.
7. Constantly asking your male partner if they love you or why they love you.
8. Trying to act in a way that you think will get you approval.
9. Lastly, imposter syndrome, where you feel like people will see beneath the image you have created.

Here are the 3 powerful tips that you can apply to stop seeking male validation;

1. Point out what tendencies lead to seeking male validation and work from there (with example)

First, ask yourself, “Why am I making decisions just to be validated?”

This will help you reflect.

There is no need for you to use up precious time that you will never get back just to get men to validate you.

You are a powerful being, and your opinion about yourself is what matters most.

When you leave it to me to hype you up, you give away your power.

It’s like living in a beautiful apartment.

But you give the key to a stranger and ask them if you can enter it every time you come home.

Absurd, isn’t it?

You are the beautiful apartment in this scenario.

And you deserve to hold the key, not others.

The joy of building new habits

Imagine the freedom and happiness of being able to validate yourself.

When you’re not used to it, it can feel weird at first.

To be honest, you’ll question yourself like a thousand times or even get anxious.

Don’t worry.

All habit formation feels weird at first before it becomes normal for you.

Just work on building consistency.

Let’s draft a practical plan.

For instance, if you sought male validation by constantly posting thirst tr@ps on social media, you can start by reducing the posting frequency.

This is just an example, but you can apply the advice depending on your specific context.

If you posted 5 thirst tr@ps a day, you can reduce the frequency to 3 a day in the first week.

Continue reducing the frequency till you post zero thirsts tr@ps.

YAY! See, you have the power now!

Now, find something like a hobby you enjoy or a mindfulness practice to fill the time you spent making the posts described above.

The goal here is to achieve true happiness and fulfillment.

This will come from the joy of what you can do for YOU.

2. Focus on building self-validation

After seeing the signs you seek validation section, you are familiar with some of the pointers.

It is now time to break those patterns and start self-validating.

If you’re asking how you do this, I got you.

Let’s say you are on a bunch of dating apps. You can start by detaching slowly.

It might be uncomfortable at first, but it will work.

You will find that you don’t entirely depend on the men on those apps to validate you.

This applies in the context of romantic/casual relationships.

What you can do to stop seeking male validation on social media

In the context of social media, if you can, try detoxing from the app.

This can be attained by reducing the number of hours you spend scrolling and yearning for validating comments or likes from men.

Day by day, you’ll cut the time you spend online.

This will help you focus more on things you love to do.

But be conscious of what they are.

It is a crucial step that will ensure that you do not fall back into the same habits you’re trying to cut.

This is where self-validation comes in.

After you find what you love and you focus on it, congratulate yourself every step of the way.

If you find that cooking is your thing and you actually burn the food, congratulate yourself because you now know what not to do.

It might seem ridiculous.

But you are actually creating a pattern where you validate yourself instead of seeking it from men.

KEY TIP: Be honest with yourself during this process. This will make it all easier for you.

3. Seek help from a friend you trust or a therapist

It can feel embarrassing to tell someone else that you seek male validation.

It might be tough at first, but once you get the courage to do it, everything else will flow.

You are very brave and have come so far if you’re considering help (like reading this article).

I’m so proud of you.

If you have a friend who can provide a non-judgmental space for you, please reach out to them.

I know it is possible to have no one you can trust, and that is where a therapist or counselor would come in.

Furthermore, you’ll get evidence-based care that will help you in your journey.

The power of support

With permission to write about this from my close friend, she once came to me for help.

I was so honored that she saw me as a safe space.

Honestly, I was happy to figure it out with her.

This was like four years ago.

I didn’t know a thing back then about what we could do.

But we stuck together and finally found a way out.

The two tips we have already covered are actually what helped her.

I feel so emotional when I think how far she has come.

She’s a boss who found true happiness and is finally at a place where she does not even think about getting men’s approval.

It is important that you find someone who will be objective about the situation.

Someone who will not hold this against you in the future and truly cares for your well-being.

Remember, even if you are alone, you don’t have to face this alone.

A counsellor can assist, as I pointed out earlier.

Conclusion

We’ve come to the end of this post.

I am so happy that you got here, and from the bottom of my heart, I wish that you get stronger and better in this journey.

The 3 tips will hold your hand in this transition period.

Since you have already thought about getting rid of male validation, I know you can make it a reality.

Whatever you can perceive, you can achieve.

If no one is there for you, I’m rooting for you and go in the direction of what you believe is best.

As always, I’ve got you.

Bye for now.

xo